I Can’t Win

I don’t give a damn about tonight’s national championship game.

In one corner, Michigan State, regular season champions of the Big Ten, the conference I shat on all freakin’ year, with their 48-68 OT games

In the other corner, North Carolina, with the most overrated basketball player of the decade (Tyler Hansbrough). I used to like Carolina, until a mix of Tyler and my buddy Rick (who needs his carolina blue eyeglasses examined) wore me out (that’s what she said).

Michigan State wins and the big fat dump I’ve taken on Big Ten basketball suddenly comes back through the pipes to haunt me.

North Carolina wins and….well, they already screwed me because they beat “my” Villanova Wildcats (“my” until their elimination Saturday night cost me some jack in my bracket pools).

Needless to say, I’ll live if I don’t watch tonight’s game. Besides, 24 is on.

Although I will say this: if Carolina wins…you are not gonna like what I have to say next if you’re a Tar Heel (real or adopted).

Enjoy the game. I won’t.

– William H. Strafe


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