It’s Pimpin, Pimpin

So, they say… a black man is a pimp.

Well, let me tell you this. The biggest pimp on planet Earth…is her mama.

Think about it.

It’s her mama that told her, “Get a man that got a good job, girl! Make sure he got a good car, girl! Make sure he can take you out and buy you something, girl!”

Whatever happened to just falling in love with a n—a with a bus pass?!? Just cause you love the dude?!?

But NOOOO. I gotta be the pimp m—erf–ker! I gotta be the player!

Let me tell you something. The biggest hoes on planet Earth are walking through your neighborhood RIGHT NOW.

Woman, you KNEW when you got with the dude, he already had a woman. You KNEW he already had a family.

But what happened? You f–ked him anyway.

And then when you thought you gonna lose ol’ boy, what happened?

Oh, let me guess. You went and got pregnant. Didn’t you bitch, DIDN’T YOU?

Where I’m from , we call that the old “Keep A N–a Baby.”

(Which is effed up on so many levels. I’d hate to ever think I coulda have been called that. But I digress)

And then, when boy boy ain’t around (because he knew to stop f–king with your crazy, deranged, unstable ass), what do you tell the child?

Probably something along the lines of , “Aww that n—a ain’t shit! That’s why your daddy ain’t here…cause that n—a ain’t shit!”
I have a better idea. You’re probably not gonna like it, which means I know it’s a good idea.

How about being a woman, and telling the kid the truth?

That you…were…a…jump…off.

TELL THE KID!

“Momma was a hoe, I was weekend p—y, I had you to keep the dude, it didn’t work out and that’s why he ain’t here. But he’s a good dude. After all, he takes care of his REAL family. I was just a dumb broad, trying to keep a dude that I wanted.”

Sometimes, the gospel hurts, but that’s why it’s the gospel.

– William H. Strafe

© 1999 Eddie Griffin. No, I didn’t make this up. But I wish I did.
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5 thoughts on “It’s Pimpin, Pimpin

  1. You’re a G for this one. But I think its funny how women are constantly calling eachother hoes and sluts when they’re the ones that are in denial that they’re being jumped off.

  2. ummm….you might be hanging out with the wrong ppl if you encounter this enough to write about it…i’m just saying.

  3. Does a “good dude” have unprotected sex with a jumpoff when he already has a woman and family? I’d say it takes two ignorant individuals to go and “get pregnant” under such circumstances, wouldn’t you?

  4. Classic skit from a classic album.

    Rachelle has a serious point though. Any self respecting cat with a modicum of self control would never find themselves in this situation. Especially with what they KNOW is a jumpoff. Looks like a jumpoff, smells like a jumpoff, PROBABLY a jumpoff…

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